Wonderful Daydream

I want to be in love. Muy importante, it has to be mutual. I’m perfectly capable of managing on my own, but I’m slowly showing signs of the hardcore single. I don’t cook meals, I grab a bite. I don’t really clean, I merely shovel the dust out of sight. I don’t walk. I slouch. In short, the vigor that usually goes with the first period of being single, the vigor to at least appear to have a backbone, is slowly fading.

I’d like to go shopping, joking around, walking hand in hand, browsing window after window, agreeing on the fact that it’s all just useless muck, but enjoying it all the same. Being two can do that.

I’d like to cuddle up in front of the central heating unit. Smelling her hair whilst spooning. Go for walks, in any weather, and enjoying the anthropomorphic dramas nature has to offer.

Humming our theme song while give the terms drinking and snogging a new definition.

God, can the birth of your son this year be slightly different? Let it be a female for one,  and let her be born in her mid twenties. I’ll take good care of her. I promise. Please?

Well, I can’t say that I’m not a bit disappointed with myself, however, not that much. Confrontend with reality, and I assure you, it was not a pretty sight, I had to lower my hands, and stop writing. The truth is, I have simply to much fun things to choose from. Besides work, that is. Not that I care very much about my work, but it’s just a very interesting time in the office, and since a that has not occurred for quite a while, I like to inhale as much of it as possible.

Besides writing, I like to play guitar and sing. And, compelled to writing 2.5 hrs of writing a day, I couldn’t play much. After a week and half, I had to gave in. I like to do fun things, really enjoy myself. Especially in november. I can push myself if I know the reward is very satisfactory, but not now. Not in november.

After 12.000 ish words, I stopped. And breathed in, deeply, as a smile of joy appeared on my lips.

Thanks for all the support though! That was really excellent!

Hmm. After a weeks worth of emotional disasters, of which one was particularly nasty; realizing to be dead scared of being involved with someone, the paradox being that, to some extend, I really seem to want that. The world around me seems to be taken down, heartshot by heartshot, with dead on aiming of our little fat, ill dressed, flying friend Cupido.

I’ve resorted to not feeling for a bit. For the moment, I’m overriding my feelings with sugar, sound, and incoming imagery, mainly computer games or tv. Maybe tomorrow…